Pasearse por internet sin nada mejor que hacer puede puede ser sinónimo de descubrimientos singulares. En esas estaba cuando se hizo la luz ante mí, y encontré el acogedor website del “CULTO DEL OVNI ENFERMO” (“Sick UFO cult” en idioma ajeno). Llevaba tiempo esperando algo así, una oferta similar de viaje a las estrellas en platillo volante. Aquí, por un módico precio de 4000 dólares (más 900 de tasas mensuales a perpetuidad) lo tengo en mis manos. Es hora de dejar este cochambroso planeta, un sitio condenado y causante de mil penurias. Nuestro destino: la mansión estelar del Líder.
Pues bien, el asunto es que nos instan a dejar el planeta en que vivimos montados en una nave de su imensa flota (cuando esté hecha), para acceder a ese paraíso que es la mencionada mansión espacial del Líder Supremo (Chairman lo llaman), donde nos ofrecerá amor y felicidad eternas a cambio de unos trabajillos de nada, como reparar tuberías, limpieza de muebles, ampliación de garage, etc.
Así que ya están tardando en apuntarse. Si no lo hacen, luego se arrepentirán. Que un viaje intergaláctico a solo 93 billones de años luz de distancia no se encuentra todos los días a este precio de ganga, oigan. Ah, y gratis la merienda (bebida aparte).
Somos una comunidad unida por nuestra adoración al Gran Líder.
Ayudaremos a construir la nave. Mientras tanto nos alojaremos en cómodos barracones.
Aquí pueden acceder a tan preciado privilegio.
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